Science says that we’re designed to be social; we’re meant for companionship.

2020 had an interesting spin on how we stay connected, with most of us “social distancing”. Despite this, there’s been a huge emphasis on ensuring we stay connected while being physically apart. Why is their global angst about disconnecting?

It turns out the concern for us isn’t just rooted in sentiment, but in science as well. It turns out that people who go through life alone are more at risk of developing chronic stress. Moreover, those without social support structures are more likely to develop depression, heart disease, cancer, and have an impaired immune function.

Whoever first claimed we were social animals seems to have hit the nail on the head.

At the same time, being in toxic friendships or family units can be equally bad for your health. 

If going into lockdown was a sigh of relief because you’re usually surrounded by negative people, it’s time to seriously consider how you can make changes in your life to edit out the negative influences. 

Remember, science has your back on this. Your health and wellness literally depends on the environment you choose to be in .

Here’s three ways that healthy family units or friendships are good for you:

Support structures

Having healthy relationships affords us ‘an eye in the storm’, a place of security amidst the craziness of life. 

Whether we need emotional support, a sense of belonging, tangible support like financial assistance or even a place to live, family and friends can be a safe harbor when we need it most.

Reality checks

Sometimes, we don’t realize when something is bad for us, whether it’s an activity, a relationship or a habit. We have all been there. Fortunately, when we don’t see it, our friends and family often do. 

Family and friends share the hard truths with us that are never easy to hear, but are often the light we need to guide us through the storm.

Let’s face it, if we are going to hear hard truths, we want it to come from someone we know has our best interests at heart. So, when your friend or family member gives you a reality check, remember to be grateful they care enough to do so.

Accountability

Sometimes, we need an extra push when pursuing our goals or when we start procrastinating and making excuses. 

Our close friends and family who love us will often give us the kick in the butt we need to stay on track. We are rarely grateful in the moment for the kick, but once we cross the finish line we always remember who had our backs.

If you’ve been alone a lot this year, we encourage you to reconnect with friends and family or get networking to find wonderful people you can build a relationship with.

As good citizens and people of faith, ignoring the homeless crisis in our cities isn’t an option. We have a duty to both understand what is causing homelessness and to take action to prevent it. 

The Same Kind of Different as Me reveals one couple’s effort to make a difference and it turns out to be a transformative experience for them.

This couple befriends a homeless man, inviting him into their home.

The act of kindness transforms the couple’s rocky relationship and the homeless man’s life forever.

The story is based on real-life events and is a New York Times best seller. 

Need another reason to check it out? With all the bitter partisanship and hate lofting over our country, this film reminds you of the underlying goodness in all of us. 

Do yourself a favor and put this sweet family film on your must watch list!

Cast: Greg Kinnear, Djimon Hounsou, Renée Zellweger, Jon Voight, Olivia Holt

If your child has switched over to online learning due to Covid-19, ‘zoombombing’ is a word you should know.

Students have reported patiently waiting for class to begin and then being bombarded with illicit images, messages, and threats. 

 “There is an increase in cyber tips involving children,” said Charles Kicklighter of the Georgia Cyber Crimes Center. He notes that virtual learning had “Widened the pool for predators looking for children. It gives them a wider hunting ground.” 

Children as young as five have received illicit messages, prompting officials to remind parents to educate their children about never sharing personal information or passwords.

These child-targeted crimes also highlight the importance of parental vigilance during school hours. Virtual classes still require parental or adult supervision.

Here are a few ways ‘zoombombing’ can be avoided:

This election has been one of the most stressful in a generation and we know a lot of you are still decompressing. 

It is always important to remember that although the challenges we face today are significant, humanity has endured far worse hardships in the past.

We are going to make it and we need to hold onto hope that the future will continue to be brighter than our past.

To help you keep the faith, we have provided some quotes below we hope will lift your spirits.

 “To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”

 — G.K. Chesterton

“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”

 ― Martin Luther King, Jr.

 “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

 ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.”

― Fr. Thomas Merton, OCSO

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

― Albert Einstein

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.”

― Pope John XXIII

“There are far, far better things ahead than anything we leave behind.”

―  C.S. Lewis

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

― Thomas Edison

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

― Winston Churchill

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

― Nelson Mandela

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”

― Aristotle

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

If there is one thing almost everybody agrees on it is this: life is uncertain.

Who would have thought a year ago that the world would be ground to a sharp halt because of some superbug? Well, maybe Bill Gates, but the rest of us didn’t see this one coming! But that isn’t entirely true is it, there is at least one other, God!

Research shows that most people have a low tolerance for uncertainty.

Understandably, when faced with lots of uncertainty, anxiety tends to kick in.

We have evolution to thank for this and although at times it may be an inconvenience, we would be lost without it.

Nobody has lived life without facing some degree of uncertainty. 

So, given it’s something we all have to live with, it makes sense to become masters of managing it.

A good place to start is the Bible. Why? Well for one, it is littered with stories of people like us trying to cope with uncertainty and two it reminds us that although the path before us may be unclear there is always someone standing by us ready to give us a helping hand.

Hope these help!

Psalm 46:1

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.”

1 Peter 5:7

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

Psalm 55:22

“Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”

Joshua 1:9

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Romans 8:28 

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 Psalm 62:5-6

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.”

 Psalm 121:1-2

I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

 Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

With COVID-19 still running rampant, many of us are spending more time with our spouse than we ever have before.

This can be both wonderful and challenging, as I am sure you have been experiencing. An important thing to keep in mind is just because you’re spending more time under one roof, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re spending more quality time together.

Research shows that married couples merely passing time together is no substitute for consciously being present to one another. In fact, a lack of spending quality time together is one of the most common reasons for failed marriages today.

Lack of quality time leads to an estranged relationship

When you don’t spend enough quality time with your spouse, you may find the person you live with becoming more and more a mystery or stranger to you. You feel less capable of predicting their moods or more surprised by what comes out of their mouths.

Quality time is a window of opportunity

Spending quality time together is an opportunity to share the opportunities, challenges, or just thoughts that are influencing your day to day and shaping who you are.

The more time you make to share and listen to each other, the more you’re in tune with how life is shaping each other or how you’re growing and changing.

While growth and change are good things, when you’re married, it’s important that you grow together or you increase the risk of growing apart.

So, how do you grow together?

By spending quality time together.

What quality time with your spouse means

Spending quality time together means having each other’s undivided attention. This means you need to be together, exclusively investing your time and attention in each other without the presence of things or people who distract you.

These distractions include having the kids around or checking your phone.

We’re not saying that spending quality time with your spouse is easy, we’re simply saying it is an investment worth making and will pay dividends long-term.

So, acknowledge what you know to be true. Your spouse is the most important person in the world and deserves your time and attention and you can, if you want to, re-order your life to ensure they know it each day.

A tip on where to begin

Where to start? You likely already know, but here is a good place to begin.

Schedule time with your spouse each day and be sure each week to schedule something special that reminds them that they are the most important person in your life.

Remember, a little goes a long way in a relationship.

Good luck!

Are you a parent? Thinking about becoming a parent? If so, it’s worthwhile remembering that raising a child means leaving a legacy not just in their life, but the world as well. 

Consider what your child would need in order to live a life of meaning, one ripe with purpose and joy. Now consider what kind of life you would need to offer them, to model for them, to be this person.

Having trouble putting this together in your head? No worries. Let’s explore this together.

As a parent, you’ve got the power to impact your child’s development profoundly and shape who they become. Your ultimate role as a parent is to raise a loving, generous, self-confident human being by caring for their spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.

Sometimes you may come up short and fail to model a mature, responsible person to them or neglect to give them the tender, loving care they deserve, but don’t despair. This is a struggle for all parents, don’t forget that!

The most important thing here is to be determined to learn from your mistakes as you know that  your parenting has long-lasting psychological impacts on your child.

It is true to say that the kind of parent you choose to be is the kind of parent your child will grow up to be. We have to commit daily to being a hero to our children not just for their sakes, but for their children’s sake as well. 

Psychologists say that good parenting helps foster great psychological traits. In his book, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Dr Laurence Steinberg (PhD) says good parenting develops intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve. Children also develop empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness because of good parenting.

Moreover, Dr Steinberg also says it prevents your children from developing negative psychological traits.

Good parenting protects children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse; bad parenting promotes these negative psychological traits. 

Here are some simple ways to be a great parent:

Pay attention, listen and be involved

Giving your child positive attention is important for their building up a healthy self-esteem. 

Most parents have careers to attend to, while managing life’s ups and downs in between, but the job of being a parent should always take preference. If your child doesn’t receive enough positive attention, he or she is likely to act out and seek negative attention.

So, pretty simple advice, make your child the priority and above all else, make the time to listen to them.

Be a good example

Like it or not, your kids see everything you do. We all know that the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ approach to life is infuriating when applied to us in a work or marital context and it will also drive you mad if applied to your children.

There is no escaping this hard truth: we have to model the lives we want our children to have. So, give it your best shot!

Be loving

You have probably heard the saying: ‘true love has no limits’, well, it is true. Your love for your children can never be too strong, but your approach to loving can be. If you’re worried about raising a spoilt child by being too loving, don’t – spoilt children are more a result of giving them what they want as opposed to providing them what they need to develop into healthy human beings.

So, love without limits, but exercise prudence when deciding how to express that love.